Fall is finally in full splendor in our little corner of the earth, and it is simply breathtaking. I love that everywhere I turn there is some shimmer of crimson brilliance or glimmer of gold on black to force me to pause and admire and reflect. Lately, all I really get is a pause, a moment, an exiguous breath of time. Sometimes it can be slightly torturous, as I gaze longingly up at the canyon I live below, all ablaze with autumn chroma, and think to myself as I drive home from Walmart with a trunk full of groceries that will require yet another burst of energy to unload and shelve, how much I would love to be hiking in it all. In those subsequent seconds I attempt to contrive a plan wherein to make such an activity possible, but realize quickly that such an ambition will have to wait. And wait. And wait still, until I notice a week later that the canyon colors have now faded and my chance to tangibly bask in the bounty of fall has passed for another year. Bummer.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about disappointments. They have sort of been in the forefront of my family’s life as this house full of BYU fanatics fans has had to deal with the consequences of losing our starting quarterback to a season ending injury during a devastating loss to Utah State. My men haven’t exactly fully recovered from that, especially as they continue to watch BYU fail to pull out of a game with a win.
In fact, it seems we have experienced a number of let downs these past few weeks. Boy #1 didn’t make the ‘A’ team for basketball this season, despite weeks of early morning workouts and drills at the church. Boy #2’s tackle football team failed to move past the first round of the playoffs. A much anticipated weekend trip to St. George for two of the boys was abruptly cancelled. A trip to Park City for Fall break didn’t work out, nor did a separate trip to Boise. The list could go on, including both substantial and small impasses.
But here’s what I’ve been pondering. As I write this, not a single one of the incidents I can recall has had lasting impact. However, to the recipient (I had my fair share as well), each one as it occurred seemed to be nearly world ending, in the moment. With each new set back it seemed that all the really great things that were also happening in our lives were entirely overlooked. How irritating that must be to anyone looking objectively on as we whine and complain and throw whatever form of tantrum our age and maturity gives allowance for because BYU lost another game, or an Alpine Slide adventure didn’t work out!
It’s all about perspective.
Let’s consider a few words from people who have a little of that:
“Anyone that imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time journey … delays, side tracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
(written by a journalist named Jenkin Lloyd Jones, and quoted by
Elder Gordon B. Hinckley in a talk at BYU in 1973.)
“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us, . . . if we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.”
(President Gordon B. Hinckley)
“My wife, a nurse, says that when we are hooked to a heart monitor we don’t want to see a straight line. It’s the ups and downs that mean we’re alive. In the same way, our highs and lows are evidence that we are living, learning, and growing emotionally.”
(Brad Wilcox, from his book: Growing Up, p. 26)
“Adaptability cushions the impact of change or disappointment.”
(Marvin J. Ashton, “Who’s Losing?” Ensign, Nov. 1974, 41)
“Without our individual refining, therefore, life would become merely a pass-through, audited course–not a course for credit. Only in the latter arrangement can our experiences and our performances be sanctified for our own everlasting good (see 2 Nephi 32:9). Mortality therefore is not a convenient, suburban, drive-around beltway with a view. Instead it passes slowly through life’s inner city. Daily it involves real perspiration, real perplexity, real choosing, real suffering–and real refining!”
After a few particularly disheartening blows during our Fall Break when one of the most looked forward to activities we had planned fell through, I finally had to gather my boys around me and give them a choice. I informed them that I was just as frustrated and disappointed as they were (believe me) and that we could either perambulate around the house annoyed and upset and make sure the rest of the day was a complete downer…or we could try to make the best of our new situation and find an alternate activity that could also be fun. Probably not as fun, let’s be real. But still fun.
Presented to them that way, none of them thought that wallowing in self pity seemed like a desirable way to spend the day. So we adapted. And had fun. And life went on!
Isn’t it amazing how that works?
Fall Break, THURSDAY
Provo Beach Resort
The boys handled this ropes course with ease and adroitness. No surprise.
Child’s play for this troop…
Um…me, on the other hand??
Yeah. I’m slightly acrophobic.
At least I tried, right? Someday I’ll get over this:(.
On to more fun at PBR…
This face <3
And THIS <3
FRIDAY:
Living Planet Aquarium
And… I now want a pet penguin.
Scenes like this make me wish I were a photographer.
Pre-picture coercion … Their faaavorite.
Talmage has limits to his generosity;).
Oh, the onlookers to this pose. I suppose we are a bit of a sight when we go out in public.
And SATURDAY:
BYU football game!!
Let’s just focus on the happy parts of this outing:).
Like this awesome daddy scoring 3rd quarter Press Box seats with Greg Wrubell!!
They even brought in {another} Cougar Tail for the boys:).
As previously alluded to, one of the reasons I love Fall is because of the way it compels me to decrease my tempo a tiny bit and admire the magnificence that surrounds me. This simple practice also happens to ameliorate the current stresses of the day and helps me to see my life in a more appreciative manner. On an inconvenient errand with two babies, as I close my eyes to take an extra long breath while passing under a golden umbrella of willow tree leaves , I also remember the happy things that made me smile that morning. Singing a hymn at the piano with my school kids trying not to visibly cringe at their adorable tone deaf enthusiasm. Playing peek-a-boo with my giggling chubster while diapering a doozer. Snuggle reading in the corner spot of the couch, cheek to cheek with my maple syrup scented toddler. Yes, the kids were late for school and that will probably reflect badly on me. Yes, Emery spilled milk all over the counter, stool, and floor beneath and I had to endure the feel and smell of milk-on-rag as I cleaned it up (anyone else have major olfactory issues with milk?). Yes, our babysitting arrangements fell through and date night will have to be postponed. Again.
But my goodness. What sort of joy would I miss out on if I allowed myself to dwell in the negativity of such momentary defeats?
And so I am trying to help my family do a little less lingering on the hang ups and a little more loving and laughing as we embrace the little moments that make us grateful. The ones we miss if we are out of focus or moving too fast.
Because they are plentiful…
Nothing better than Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread…
…for breakfast:).
Seriously my favorite thing in the world, this.
These guys can’t get enough of frisbee for some reason.
Whatever its appeal, I love that they do it together. Voluntarily!
And this one with the sand…look at that guilty face:).
Cute Joseph got a little of my genes…he practices just for fun. Love!
Then there is this little cherub.
So, I missed hiking up the canyon this year. Oh well. Because I sure got to experience a whole lot of other October happiness:).
“I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted. When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life. ‘Joseph,’ she said, ‘come what may, and love it.’ I have often reflected on that counsel. I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.”
{Joseph B. Worthlin}
First off, every time I look at Ashton, all I see is your dad JulieAnn. Secondly, I’ve learned this past year, that even when the disappointments are life-changing and tragic, the advice is the same. Find the good, enjoy the journey, be grateful for what you do have. Thanks for the beautiful reminder. 🙂
Ha ha…that’s so funny, Cara:). I love that you see that in him! I do too. Also, you are so amazing. How I wish we lived closer so that I could be around you more. I’d love to catch up soon:)!